Things they say
by Spider9x
Summary: Ridiculous optimism and delusional hearing are the results of Hisoka's unique inference skills. Drabbles. Now taking character requests! D
1. Oh stop it, you guys

**Things they say**

**Summary:** Ridiculous optimism and delusional hearing are the results of Hisoka's unique inference skills.

**Chapter 1:** Oh stop it, you guys

"Hisoka, ne Hisoka! Won't you take us right now? We're always ready for you!" was what the adorable boys were practically screaming at him.

_Hmmm….. So tempting. But I must resist, the time isn't ripe, I must resist whatever he says. _

_Oh! Wouldn't you look at that shiver running down his body. Hhnnnggg….._

_Don't get too excited Gon, my self control might be weaker than you think. _

With a lick of the lips, Hisoka forced himself to turn and walk away from the blinking brown eye innocence and his equally tasty friend for the umpteenth time. He had given in to temptation many times in the past, but the promised fruits of patience were too attractive this round. He'd kill himself if he were to do anything irreversible to them before the season of ripening.

-0-

Next up, what Machi says. But before that, do you have any comments about my story?XD Let me know please, and thanks for reading!


	2. Your prince is coming

**Things they say**

**Summary:** Ridiculous optimism and delusional hearing are the results of Hisoka's unique inference skills.

**Chapter 2: Your prince is coming**

_Machi says she isn't interested to join me for dinner, or what comes after dinner, to be exact._

It was pretty obvious, even to Hisoka when she left the room while he was still in the middle of the invitation.

_Ahh, how I love the feisty ones._

Slowly unbuttoning his top, Hisoka narrowed his eyes. Maybe she would have agreed if he had suggested a lovely rose bath instead. Women loved baths didn't they, even Machi. The excitement of imminent success caused his pants to slip off his hips with more difficulty than usual and they lay in a heap on the ground as he stepped out of them leisurely.

Women are hard to understand, but he was sure he had at least figured out half of what Machi was telling him through her behavior.

The cool rush of water from the bath did little to calm him down.

-o-

Next chapter, what Kurapika says. I'd love to hear what you have to say about this story, thanks for reading!


	3. At your service

**Things they say**

**Summary:** Ridiculous optimism and delusional hearing are the results of Hisoka's unique inference skills.

**Chapter 3: At your service**

"I'd like to see what you have to offer."

Was what the Kurata said, arms casually placed at his sides. Though it was easy to tell that he was ready to launch into an attack should Hisoka try anything weird.

Hisoka deemed himself to be a generous man, especially towards people he considered interesting. Sure, Kurapika was bordering the category for innocence; he had a pure desire to rid the spiders but it was tainted by too much angst.

Hisoka wouldn't mind offering the Kurata a good fight, though it might not be as fun as fighting the shorter ones. He wouldn't mind lavishing a kiss, or providing an escort service for such a feminine face which definitely needed protection. The extent of his services, of course, depended on what the blond, too, had to offer.

"How much information do you have regarding the rest of the troupe?"

_Oh, oh that kind of service._

How very disappointing.

-o-

Next up, what Kuroro says. Reviews are very much appreciated, thanks! (:


	4. Yes sir, I'm on it

**Things they say**

**Summary:** Ridiculous optimism and delusional hearing are the results of Hisoka's unique inference skills.

**Chapter 4: Yes sir, I'm on it**

_Kuroro says he'd love to fight me to death._

There was not a breath of wind as he walked towards the magician silently, not a single emotion on the battered face. A slight stumble, probably from the numbness in his legs having been tied up for a few hours straight, but never breaking his dignified walk.

"My nen has been sealed."

The look on Hisoka's face was what they call priceless.

Kuroro had long headed towards the east and was well out of sight. It might well have been hours after that short exchange when Hisoka snapped his fingers and came to the understanding that Kuroro was actually engaging his service to hunt for a nen remover.

He was finally getting a play session with the old beloved toy which he had never forsaken despite the many new ones he has had his eyes on. Provided the nen remover could be located.

_I'm on it, Danchou. You, me, your nen fish, soon._

-o-

Next up, what Illumi says. I'm now accepting prompts, leave a review with any hxh character's name and a topic if you wish and i'll see what I can come up with :D thanks for reading!


	5. We are BFF

**Things they say**

**Summary:** Ridiculous optimism and delusional hearing are the results of Hisoka's unique inference skills.

**Chapter 5: We are BFF**

"Don't hate me for being beautiful, I can't help it." with a flip of his ebony black hair, he took out an orange pin dart and spun it around. "And I hear orange is the new black this season."

_Thanks, I know you love my hair as much as I do._

"I'm beat, you know what to do if I don't wake up in time tomorrow…. zz"

Hisoka foundly pushed and patted the soil back into the slim fit hole, burying the long hair youth who was apparently too tired to finish the job himself. It was a strange sleeping habit, Hisoka admitted, but as long as Illumi was happy, anything went.

"That brother of mine, isn't he the most useless brat ever?" Illumi casually remarked a few days after the last day of the hunter exam. "Friends like those will not do him any good."

_Yes Illumi, I love you too :3_

-o-

I've uploaded the last of what i've written so far, away at camp now (: Please let me know if there are any characters you'd like to see interact with Hisoka.

Updates will now be irregular since I'd just be writing when inspiration hits or when there are requests. Thanks so much for reading up to chapter 5 of my humble fanfic :D


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